And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word, By stretching forth thine hand to heal; and that signs and wonders may be done by the name of thy holy child Jesus. And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness. (Acts 4:29-31 KJV)
I felt so insufficient. Helpless.
"God," I prayed. "Why'd you choose me?"
I'm just a simple girl from an average town who's lived a normal life. I have no special powers. No special talent. Oh, I can string words together, but even then I am so unequal to the task you've set before me.
The opposition. The hatred. The criticism and judgment. The unrest of individuals who don't know where I've been.
Where I was at the bottom, when you picked me up a worthless piece of clay and reformed me. What I sounded like crying, begging for some supernatural power to reach me and make it all go away.
They don't know what it's like to pour your life out, lift yourself up, offer a piece of your your heart on your sleeve. A target. A bulls-eye. A mark.
"Who am I, Lord? Why'd you send me?"
Why'd you send them, Lord? That handful of men who'd walked with Jesus over his lifetime, those who'd seen him work miracles, heal the sick, raise the dead. The men who'd seen the glory of God shining round about them. (Mk 9:2-3) The very one who denied Christ three times. (Mt 26:75) A man who'd killed Christians, blasphemed God, fallen down as low as he could get and blinded, had his sight restored.(Php 3:4)
Why them? Men from an average town, an average place, in an average country. Men abused and spoken ill of. A physician. A tax collector. Fishermen. A Pharisee.
"They're drunk," others said, "and look at the time of the day!" (Act 2:13)
"What miracle? Don't talk about this Jesus anymore." (Act 4:17)
"They trouble our city, teaching unlawful things. Throw them in prison." (Act 16:20-21)
Yet, hands outstretched, faces lifted toward the Father, they extended themselves that much further, touching something all those who didn't get it, weren't unable to understand it, and couldn't see it missed. They touched heaven. Divinity. Boldness.
"Go bold or go home," Peter said. (Act 4:29)
Fancy words. Vain words. Daring words. Courageous words. But words spoken in faith, words holding hand with the power that'd flowed from their fingers into the hearts and eyes and legs of others.
Words sufficient to the task. Words backed by the the Greater One. Words with results.
Give me results, Lord, for this job you've set before me. Results in lives. That my life may be that target, the one people see and say, "I know who she is!" She's one of them! She's a church-goer. She's a faith preacher. She's a abstinence teacher. She believes in purity and holiness and godliness.
Yes, Lord. Those results!
Let them say, she's a Christian! And let me wear that banner proudly, my life so much more than it was at the bottom, my life changing even one person, one child, one teen, one mom or dad. one author or reader, one friend.
Grant me that, Lord.
Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; And having an high priest over the house of God; Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) (Heb 10:19-23 KJV)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
-------------------------------Suzanne D. Williams
Suzanne Williams Photography
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.